1 Pink Buses

Selangor, Malaysia

Kuala Lumpur is chaotic yet mesmerising. However, of all cities in Asia, it is the least well served by public transport. In days gone by, public transport in the Klang Valley was based on rickshaws, elephants, sampans and horse-drawn carriages.

Things had changed since I first went there in the 1970s. Way back then I was struck by the rainbow buses which darted in and out of traffic with total proprietorial road ownership. Now I did not say ‘I was struck by ONE OF’ the colorful buses: just that I thought, ‘wow, cute/jazzy/hip’ (as one thought in those days).

In earlier, more genteel times I might have commented as to how gay they looked, but I wouldn’t dare say that now.

These butterfly buses hit the roads in 1975, assigned to (usually approximate) routes according to their colors (blue-white, yellow-white and so on). When they started, the fare was 40 cents. In 1991, it increased to 50 cents while two years later it reached the stratosphere: 60 cents! By 2007 when I arrived it had his one ringgit!

The buses did not run to a fixed timetable (so what’s new?). The papers were filled with complaints from irate passengers about irresponsible, careless, speeding, maniacal drivers. Goodness me! Had things changed that much in 2007?

In 1991 the Transport Ministry issued a decree. ‘Buses shalt from henceforth be only pink and white’ they intoned, and it was so.

The infamous Pink Ladies arose from the ashes of the butterflies like a phoenix Frankenstein emerging from Dracula’s second cousin’s laboratory. New drivers were recruited from the ranks of failed F1 drivers. Complaints mushroomed citing even more erratic driving, death-defying maneuvers, road rage, inconsideration of passenger comfort and total disregard for other road users.

Sadly, as the 21^st Century dawned, the Transport boffins retired the Pink Ladies. KL Rapid buses supplemented other private companies with such pedestrian names as Metrobus, Triton, Len Seng, Selangor Omnibus and SJ Bus.

Did people miss the Pink Ladies? Someone blogged that he saw one in Shah Alam, but then it could have been a pink pig flying by… What am I saying? In Shah Alam? The home of Islam in Malaysia? OK. A pink elephant?

But in their place are buses transmogrified from subtle pink to monstrous school bus yellow. They ply the parking lots (a.k.a. roads) throughout the country. Many of their endearing qualities remain. Enterprising owners (licensed, of course) provide services for children during school hours (clever, eh?) and, when not transporting the little darlings safely (sic) round, provide a local service to the shops or the KTM, all part of KL’s (and indeed the country’s) wonderful public transport system.

How many Klang Valley residents used public transport? Believe it or not, one site claimed it was 12% while Wikipedia claimed a figure of 16%. Hmmm.

In 2009, one Government site claimed that almost 600,000 out of the 7,000,000 in the valley use public transport daily. By my reckoning that was 8%. So were any of those figures impressive?

Not really! 65% of Singaporeans use public transport, whilst in Hong Kong? Better not ask, but if you said 90% you’d be close. No, KL was on a par with two cities renowned for appalling public transport: Sydney and Los Angeles.

Catching a bus in KL is a lot like catching them in Jakarta. It requires a gymnast’s agility. You board them in the center of the road, not from the curb. You weave out to them as they can’t pull into the designated bus stops because (a) they are full of taxis with drivers smoking and eating chapattis, and (b) Metro Jaya buses parked outside the taxis waiting till they are full before they leave whilst (c) KL Rapid buses occupy the lane between the taxis and the opposition, conveniently blocking all other traffic, but thankfully, mainly in peak hour! This is deliberate of course to encourage car drivers to switch to public transport.

But the yellow saunas, sorry, buses, are colorful! There is something nice about a bus where the driver, his wife and children are happily settled for the day in the front of the bus, traveling with daddy. I think they live in the bus as well, judging by the washing, the primus and the mattress… Who could resist telling the urchin who collects the fare to keep the change from one ringgit! (Most actually!)

I also liked the hip young driver on my local route to the train station. She was always wearing jeans and a revealing t-shirt. One day she made an illegal u-turn with a load of school children inside. I tried to get her number (sorry, the number of the bus), but the plate had obviously fallen off that morning…Funny, that. The police were too busy pulling over motorcyclists fifty meters away to notice, and in any case she was so cute…

But she wasn’t in the same league as the Pink Ladies.